“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.” Ephesians 6:4
I know that verse, I’ve read it plenty of times but sometimes it’s easier said than done. And why are dads centered out anyway! I’m sure that none of you parents, dads in particular woke up today and made it a priority to aggravate your children.
But if you’re looking for ways to drive your children crazy, alienate them or have them resent you, then I can help. Here are 20 ways to do it:
- Do not follow through on promises you make.
- Live by the mantra, “As long as you live under my roof…” Otherwise known as the MWOTH (my way or the highway) parenting philosophy.
- Treat your friends, neighbours, even strangers better than your own family.
- Don’t prioritize your marriage.
- If you’re a pastor, play the “do it because you’re a pastor’s kid” card as much as possible.
- Use your masculinity (voice, strength and size) to intimidate them.
- Stop all forms of affection, especially towards your son once he turns 7.
- Disrespect your wife, especially in front of your children.
- Discipline your children for things that you never teach or train for.
- Always ensure your discipline never relates to the offense in question.
- Only give attention to your children when they are misbehaving…otherwise keep your distance.
- Never say, “I’m sorry”. Never acknowledge you make mistakes.
- Never ask for forgiveness when you have blown it.
- Never spend one-on-one time with your children.
- Routinely be late or miss family meals altogether.
- Have an inflated view of yourself and your importance.
- Do not listen to the opinions of your children.
- Don’t have fun with your kids…never let them see you laugh.
- Be rude to your children’s friends.
- Treat your children as pawns, rather than people…simply because you can.
Perhaps you’re wondering how I came up with such a compilation…how many resources I referenced to create this comprehensive list. The truth is, I have used most, if not all of these at some point over the past 20 plus years. So I know from personal experience. Hopefully these are less true of me now than ever before.
What do you think? What would you add to the list?
So what do you do if you find yourself doing one, two or ten or more of this list?
Start here: Pick the behaviour you are prone to and do the opposite.
For example, lets say #17 is true of you. Instead of never letting them talk or cutting them off mid-sentence let them finish a thought. Ask for their input and thank them for it. Have a conversation not a monologue.
Where can you start today?
Fantastic. The only thing I’d add would be “never show emotion or be vulnerable to your children, especially your son. Real men don’t cry”. I was brought up this way, and it’s taken me years to unlearn!
That’s good Roy; a stereotype we need to break down for sure. Thanks for sharing.