Last week I talked about a recent group ride I went on, and it was a blast. I knew the guys well, we mapped out an incredible route through beautiful back-country roads and at the end of the day, an awesome 6-hour ride.
As you can see from this picture, we all ride very different bikes, and as I mentioned, mine is the smallest of them all, in terms of engine size and power. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my bike, I really do. Long before I ever rode one, I always thought the Honda Shadow 750 was a classic, cool looking bike, so I’m grateful to be riding one.
Imagine though, that when I rolled up to the guys at our meeting place, all I did was look at the other bikes with envy. Very quickly, my enthusiasm would be squelched and my enthusiasm dampened before the ride even started.
Comparison Is a Kill-Joy
Culture wants you to compare your life to others all the time. Have you seen the commercial where the guy is washing dishes, actually the same plate for an endless amount of time because he’s distracted, staring at the shinny new car across the street?
Here’s a hint…a new car is only a new car until you drive it home; then it becomes a used car. I don’t care how nice your vehicle is, at some point very soon, it will become, just another car. It will get dirty, soon there will be a scratch that only you see every time you get in…you get the picture.
Much of marketing wants to you feel like your life is not enough as it is. You need cleaner clothes, whiter teeth, shinier hair, a closer shave, a bigger house and on and on and on.
Social media may be the most obvious place where we can get caught up in comparison. It’s where we see the “best of” from others’ lives, but we rarely see the “real lives” or see the bigger picture.
I don’t usually mention the argument I had with my wife Kathy, or the time I responded to one of my kids with frustration instead of patience and curiosity. No, I’m as guilty as the next one to make sure you see only what I want you to see.
If you get caught up in this comparison trap, you might find yourself struggling with feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration, anger and even despair. That doesn’t sound like a good way to live, does it?
Do you know the 10 Commandments? Most probably couldn’t recite them, but the last one simply says,
You shall not covet
Coveting means to want something someone else has. Pretty straightforward, right? Well, maybe not.
Kathy and I will often walk around local marinas to look at the different boats. I told her once that I don’t think I will ever get a boat because I know at some point, I will want another one, just a little longer, a littler newer and with a little more horsepower.
Do you know what I’m talking about? I’m guessing you do.
Do you struggle with envy, jealously and wanting what someone else has (or what you think they have)?
What does someone else have that you don’t?
- more money
- a larger house
- a happier marriage
- a newer car
- more “success” however you define that.
Comparing what you have to others rarely goes well, with this caveat. If you want a better marriage, talk to a couple who have a good marriage. If you want more success in your business, talk to business owners who are farther along the journey than you are.
But comparison for comparison sake, will often lead you nowhere good.
Try This Instead
If you struggle with coveting, jealousy and comparison, I have found that these 2 things make a huge difference
- Gratitude: I try to start my day being grateful. I thank God for my wife, my family, my friends and the many other things I’m blessed with. That doesn’t mean I don’t have struggles, challenges and problems to deal with. But it’s where I want my focus to be.
- Celebrate: One of the most effective ways for me to mitigate envy and jealousy is to celebrate others. Be happy when they get a promotion, write a best-seller, have a child graduate with honours, go on an exotic vacation, reach a personal milestone.
Or even have a nicer motorcycle.
Yup, comparison can sabotage your progress and kill your joy.
Feeling stuck? Not sure what to do next? Your life not where you want it to be? Life coaching can help. Contact me for a free 45-minute discovery call. Let’s talk.
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