Author, Thomas Wolfe is credited with popularizing the phrase, “You can’t go home again.” It’s the title of a fictional account of his own family and hometown and one that apparently garnered much disdain from the locals because of it.
In it, the main character, George Webber laments…
“You can’t go back home to your family, back home to your childhood … back home to a young man’s dreams of glory and of fame … back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time – back home to the escapes of Time and Memory.”
Well, maybe you can and maybe you should.
Whether your past is a source of joy or disappointment, either way, it can be worth the time to consider the role it can play in your life today.
As a teenager I left home, ironically, on the same day my family went to a family reunion. I packed my things and didn’t see them for a number of months.
Later that year I was invited home for Thanksgiving dinner and I accepted. After the meal, sitting in the living room with my dad, unplanned and almost without thinking I asked, “Dad, would it be okay if I moved home?” It felt awkward and risky, but without hesitation my dad said, “Yes, of course you can come home.”
What an incredibly gracious response; and within days I was back.
Last week, I referred to my favorite movies featuring Jason Bourne and how we can become like him when we lose our way.
He couldn’t look back for help because he had amnesia. And for some of us, looking back or going back isn’t an option either. At least that’s what we think.
- It’s been too long
- It’s too painful
- I’ve already tried and failed
- I’m afraid of what others will say
- What if my past is held against me.
- The past is the past
But I believe there can be great value in looking and going back to our roots…maybe going home again to get clarity about who we are and we can be.
If you’ve lost your way, feel like you are spinning your wheels or just feel stuck…going home again could help give you perspective.
Understanding where you’ve come from, can help point you in the direction of where you should be going
Consider this too. Our greatest point of pain, can also be the point of our greatest contribution.
In other words, the pain of the past doesn’t have to sabotage our future, it can actually inform it, shed light on it, even give it clarity.
As a teenager, I was a screw up…to put it bluntly. I made poor choices that hurt me, my family and my friends. I wallowed in mediocrity as I flunked out of class after class, even dropping out TWICE!
I simply wasn’t reaching my potential…heck…I wasn’t even trying.
But you see, that same reality has actually become motivation for me as an adult. I eventually did graduate high school, then went on seven more years completing a graduate degree. And during that time, I finally understood what God wanted me to do with my life that I had previously wasted. To inspire others to reach their God-given potential. To overcome whatever is holding them back from thriving in their relationships, their work and their personal lives so they can reach their potential.
That “calling” if you will, has guided me and the work I have done throughout my adult life. Whether, as a therapist, a pastor, a life coach and even as a cafe owner. What gets me up in the morning and what gives me the most satisfaction is helping others achieve more than they ever thought possible. To inspire them to reach their potential.
What was once a point of pain became a source of purpose.
Whatever you do, don’t miss the opportunity to learn form your past. To gain insight and perspective on who you really are and why you’re here.
Maybe Jason Bourne couldn’t go back, at least not until his memory returned, but you can.
It’s okay to go home again.
Feeling stuck? Not sure what to do next? Your life not where you want it to be? Life coaching can help. Contact me to arrange a free 30-minute discovery call. Lets talk.
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